Ep140 How to find your high vibe tribe
Surround yourself with great people. Being around your high vibe tribe makes you think differently - it makes you realise what's possible and imagine a bigger life for yourself.
In today's Her Empire Builder Podcast episode I'm talking about how to find your own high vibe tribe and how it can change your life.In this episode, you will learn:
- What a mastermind can do for you
- The importance of thinking differently
- The power of having a tribe behind you
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Welcome to Episode 140 of Her Empire Builder. Thank you so much for joining me here today. Today I am talking about your high vibe tribe.
And while it sounds like something you know that you can find on an Instagram tile, what I want to talk about today is how important it actually is who you surround yourself with. And while I am saying you don't need to flick all of your negative Nelly friends, we can still keep them. But yes, I do think limit exposure and seek out the times when you can be inspired and be who you truly want to be. So that's what we're going to get straight on into today. Let's do it.
Hello,I'm Tina Tower, and you're listening to her Empire Builder. For my first decade of business, I thought grinding and hustling and working harder than everyone else was my path to success. It was pretty successful by a lot of measures, but it led to burnout and adrenal fatigue. Then when I travelled around the world, on my family gap year, I discovered the simplicity and the reach of online business. And I completely fell in love. You have so much knowledge and expertise that's within, and I want to help you to package that. So you can also help to lift others up. So how do you build a thriving million dollar business based on everything that's in your mind? This is her Empire Builder, the podcast.
You’ve probably heard all of those quotes - you become who you surround yourself with. And while I do think there's a lot of truth to that, you are you. And yes, we can be different versions of ourselves with different people. But if you've got a strong enough constitution, and you know who you are, you don't need to completely kick out people from your life. And this for me, was a big thing with with family, it was a big thing with friends. Because anyone who's been through a period of transition that has levelled up their life in some way. Some people will be really on board with that, you'll have friends and family that are so happy for you. Some people will be so insanely jealous that they'll start doing all sorts of weird and wonderful things, that you'll be sitting there going what what am I done wrong? What's happened here? And it can have a really big effect on your mental health and on how you conduct yourself. And one of the things you know, there's two, there's different things that we've got to do to kind of be socially acceptable in in different scenarios. I mean, you guys are listening to the podcast, you know me well enough. I'm a bit of an oddball, right? I mean, I'm not like overtly weird, I guess. But when I am in certain groups, I sit there and I do know, wow, you are so different to everybody else here at this table. And for me, like we used to go to soccer games, for example, with my kids soccer and, and my husband would would say, like, the kids have got to be friends with these kids. We've got to be able to get along and everyone there and can you just like, tone it down a little. And I would get really mad at him. Because I'm like, man, I do not tone myself down for one, like, come on. And the thing was, there is some certain truth to that there are different scenarios that you need to be in in different environments where you don't need to be talking about all the things I didn't need to be there going, what do you do? Oh, you know, you could do this? And you could do that? And oh, yeah, I've flown here this week. And I've done that and what lights me up, oh my gosh, I'm going for this and I'm doing that and you know, like, oh, the excitement, there are some times where you just need to tone that down. But where you need to concentrate is when you can amplify. And this is what I mean when I say have your high vibe tribe, is everybody needs a tribe that can amplify who you are, where you are safe and celebrated for being your awesome self, where you don't have to dim your light where you don't have to be subdued where you don't have to shrink so that others feel okay. This is what I want to talk about today. Because, you know, without the travel. I have really struggled with this a lot and I was talking to a girlfriend about it the other day, which is why I wanted to do this podcast episode is, I used to go to a lot of conferences, a tonne of events, and I would get so inspired because I would be thinking differently. I would be around other people that you know, were on the same sort of wavelength and while I don't agree with living in an echo chamber, I do exist in a bubble and I love my bubble and I don't think It's incredibly negative because I am not around people that complain all the time that hate their life that you know, sit there and go. I don't like my husband, my kids are annoying. I have no space in my life for that. None. Nada. It was a long time ago that I decided that yes, I could be perceived as a hardcore asshole. But I would not put up with terrible negativity or toxicity. That’s what I was trying to say, from family. And so it's been what is it been about eight years since I have seen my my family, my extended family. And for some people, they like, Whoa, really. And for a while I put up with that, because I didn't like what people perceived me to be if I didn't have a relationship with my family, then people were like, wow, like, you don't do that. Like, that's a you a bad person doing that? But the thing is, what I found was, I would be on a roll, right, I would be so happy, am I so good with life in general. And then I could be taken down by my family so quickly, like so quickly. And, and I'm hoping you don't know what that feels like. But I know for a lot of people listening, you know exactly what that feels like. And it's horrible. And you put up with it in the name of family. And that's fine. Some people choose to do that and suffer through. And, and I'm good with that, like you do you. But in the end, I was like, this is actually not what I want for my life. I don't want to be a grown ass woman reduced to tears, and feeling terrible about myself all the time, just because I'm not the picture of what they wanted me to be. And so I think that that is okay. And I think that that is safe. But what I'm talking about is having a group of people where you are safe to be who you truly want to be. And I do that a lot. I mean, I created her Empire Builder, my mastermind for that exact reason, I was looking for a tribe of women. Like me, I was looking for a group that had highly ambitious, smart, experienced women that wanted to build businesses that wanted to impact positively that wanted to be wildly wealthy and do good things with their wealth. I was looking for that. And I could not find it. I could find big, massive, massive, massive groups, but not where you actually knew one another where the person running it, you know, knew if you showed up or not. And so that's why I created it. I made it like that. But then still, I was going okay, this is great for everyone in my group, but where can I be the student? Like Where can I sit in the audience kind of thing. And so I've got two groups of kick-ass humans that I meet with every month that we put together, that are kind of all on the same wavelength. And what I love is, every time I talk to them, I end up thinking differently. And I recently went to a zoom call as s life right now, right? With a whole heap of women that were doing, you know, multiple, seven figures or eight figures a year in their business. And I needed it so bad. When I got on to the call. I was feeling like a big fish in a small pond. And you know, I was there really going. In some ways I had been thinking, have I gone big enough? Do I need to stop now? Like, am I thinking too big? Should I lower it down a little? And I got off the call going, Oh my gosh, how small were you thinking you could go so much bigger than that you could do so much better than that you can have such a bigger impact than that. And in that moment, I was like, this is why we need high vibe tribes is because what it does is it gets us to think differently. It shows us proof of what's possible. And you know, I would look at different people and every level there's a different thing to learn. And so the biggest thing that I'm working on at the moment is boundaries and trying to work less, which I know sounds really, you know, counterintuitive, but we need so much creativity and energy and inspiration to do our jobs. And I've been doing too much face to face work, which has taken a lot of my energy and it's gotten me to where I've got now, but now I need to figure out how do I do a higher impact business, and still have energy left for life. And so talking to all these women, and I'm like, what do you do what, how it's proof of what's possible, it's things that I thought weren't possible before. And I can see it happening. And this is what I love so much when you're in a group, and you're surrounded by people that are doing things that shows you well, if they can do it, I can do it too. It gets you to think differently. It shows you what's hard, and what's easy. And what I mean by that is, you know, you'll have your certain group of group of girlfriends or whoever it is that you're around family, friends, business people, whatever it is, that the standard, the norm of what is hard, and what is easy, is different. So it's like, you know, you'll talk to some people, and it's like, well, what did you What were you up to this month? Like, how did you go this month, and it's like, oh, my gosh, like, I had to make a webinar. And it was so hard, and you know, all the things that were just all relative to everybody. But if you're in the group, and your group is finding the things that you find really easy, really hard, you need to level up, you need to get into a different group. So if you're in a mastermind, and you're in like a group, and the mood is different to where you are, or where you want to be, like, say, hey, I need a better one than this, like, I need to get out of this because therir hard, is my easy, and I need a new set of heart, you want to have your heart equal with the other people's hands, or you want to have their hard be like what that's the problem that you're dealing with. Because the thing is in life is we always think, you know, when we get to here, it's going to be so much easier. But really, the world just knows that you're such a brilliant problem solver, that you get up there. And then you'll get a whole new set of problems to deal with. And so it's a different level of hard. And you want to be around people where it's easy. Where you going? Yeah, so like, all I need to do is I just need to do do my podcast and create content and really served people massively. And I'm, I'm starting this, this charity initiative, and I'm going on this trip, and I'm organising this event, and I'm doing all of this and people are like, yeah, that sounds great. Hey, you could also do this, this and this. That's the sweet spot that say like, yes, this is what I want to do. So you need a place where you're comfortable to be able to do that, where they're at your appropriate level where they can give you support and where you can bare your soul. So it doesn't always have to be happy, happy Joy, joy, like everyone's going to have problems, everyone's going to have obstacles, everyone's going to have things that they're going to go through. But you need to be able to have your tribe where you can both celebrate the wins, commiserate the losses, and where they can pull you up damn quick. Because when you do fail, because everyone is going to fail. So it's not if it's when and how bad and how quickly you can recover from it. When you do do what you want the people around you to go Yeah, of course, like, of course that happened like you're pushing here. And that's just the universe telling you to sway and come here. And now you can go up to this next level. So they help you to overcome rather than people around you going, Well, you know what, maybe this business thing just isn't for you, hey, that's not helpful. So really pay attention to the people that you're around what they're saying to you how they're making you feel, and how you can get more inspiration into your life, more people that can help you to be who you truly want to be. The other thing that I love so much about being in like minded business groups, is the reminder of not to break your business. Now what I mean by that, and it happens in every group that I'm both a part of, and in my accountability groups with my her Empire Builder members as well, is a profitable business is a boring business. We always want to make it super exciting. If you run a launch and you launch the same thing two or three times and that goes well. Your temptation will be to change it. Because you'll go Okay, this works. I want to try this. I want to try this. Oh my gosh, I'm so sick of running the same masterclass or I want to really mix things up here. And look, I am 100% into the Japanese word Kaizen the commitment to continuous improvement. But, don't break your business. And this is what I love my high vibe tribes for is the constant reminder to go, Hey, don't look sideways. Don't worry about what that other person is doing. Like I can sometimes listen to people's podcasts that they launched a brace and stuff and go oh shit. I really need to start doing that. When I know that's not my lane. And so my tribe is around me to remind me Hey, This is what you're good at this is what's working, double down on that do this even better, but do not break it. And I see so many successful entrepreneurs get to the stage where they get a little bit bored with their business, and they actually break it. So it's beautiful to have a tribe to remind you to just keep going. Don't sway off your course, to just keep repeating the formula that's working and enhancing and improving and increasing your student success, increasing the results that you can get for people and stay in your own lane.
It's also a kind of a beautiful way to find new dreams. So you get to a certain stage where you've achieved everything that you wanted to achieve. Were all of the goals that you wrote out, you'll look at them and go, Oh, my gosh, I have done them. I am there. What is the new dream? And this is where we can actually plateau quite a lot. And you're in this one life to live big, you are living this big, beautiful life, you're going to have a rich human experience, it's going to be incredible. You always need the new dream. And let me tell you, you can be in pursuit of a new dream, whilst simultaneously being perfectly content with where you are right now, striving for greater things does not mean that you're unhappy with where you are. But surrounding yourself with a high vibe tribe that can absolutely inspire you of what's possible, and what you can dream and what you can achieve. Oh my gosh, it's absolutely game changing. Things that you just thought were for other people, not for yourself. You'll see yourself in those other people whose tribe that you're in and you'll go gosh, look at what's normal for them. Look at what they've got, look at what they can do look at the opportunities available to them. If that is possible for them. I'm gonna dream that too. I mean, for me, I'm not. I'm not a super materialistic person. I mean, I love pretty things. But my pretty things are like my Dingle dangle earrings, like my rainbow things. Like, I am not a big you know, I drive a Volkswagen Golf like the most common car.
Like I don't have super flashy things. What a dream of mine is to one day be on a super yacht. Now I have had this dream since I was in my late teens, when I first saw a super yacht and was like, drool coming out of my mouth. I don't know what it is. I don't have a thing for cars. I don't have a thing for jets. I think why pay to fly on a private jet when you can get there at the same time on a commercial plane for a fraction of the price. Like I don't, I don't get that stuff. But everyone's got their thing, right? Boats sexiest thing in the world. And so I always just thought like, that was ridiculous. Anyone that would pay that amount of money to go on a boat ridiculous. But lately, I've been talking to my high vibe tribe of women. And they're like, is it ridiculous? Or is it one of the most fun parts of the human experience? Because imagine being on there in a 17 bedroom, super yacht with all of the fun in the Caribbean, and all your friends dancing around and having fun and having beautiful conversations and life changing impact. And oh my gosh, fun right? Now, if I didn't have this tribe, I would just think that was a ridiculous idea that I had once and that I would never dare to actually go after it. And now I'm like, okay, so for my 44th birthday, I want to hire that thing for a week around the Caribbean. I want to take some people with me that I love and have one of the best weeks of my life. And so getting that new dream is something that can fuel me, I love things like that, that are going to provide great experiences for both myself and the people that I love. And then also live a life that makes a difference. So, you know, for us, it's it's very much we we pay for a lot of scholarships for girls in Africa. But nowhere near enough, there's still, every time they go through scholarship applications, there's still a whole pile of people that we don't accept because we've tapped out our numbers. And so there's no limit to that. And so I think that when you get to a certain stage, having people around you to go, Hey, you could do this. I believe in you. I know how capable and how strong and how amazing you are. Stay true to yourself stay on this path and the sky is the limit like you can go for it. And that is so incredibly valuable because this life can get heavy. You know, we can really get stuck in our head and not see ourselves as who we are now, but see ourselves as who we were. And that is what I think holds so many people back is they still, you know, you still may feel like the girl that you were you still may carry around those same scars that you really got ingrained in you in your late teens in your early 20s, without realising how much you've overcome. And without realising how incredible you are, and what you do on a day to day basis now, and having your high vibe tribe around, they see you now. They look at you now and they go, you just did what? Yes, yes, go you I am with you all the way and they are cheering you on, because all they want is to see you succeed. And ladies, oh my gosh. Once you get that group in your corner, you're unstoppable.
And I want that for you. So that is why I wanted to do this episode today in going check your surroundings, find out who you are in the different circles and consciously spend time with people that are going to help you to get to where it is that you want to be. And if you don't have that tribe, Empire Builders is opening soon. So depending on when you're listening to this episode, we close doors on the 14th of September. So if you listen to this episode, when it comes out before the 14th of September, you can go to herempirebuilder.com and fill in the application form. If you're listening to it after were opening twice a year, so you can join the waitlist and you'll be the first to know each year when the doors to that open. But Empire Builders is is literally your hype squad.
So it was not designed to be that way. I'll be totally honest, I designed it because I mean, I wanted the hype squad but I I also wanted all of the the knowledge bolt and the systems and the processes and how to do the actual practical stuff. I really underestimated the power of the tribe.
And what I see is our members getting in there and doing the most incredible things and getting the most incredible results and going through launch. And I know that when you're on day two or day three of launching and you have a lull, that a lot of people, you know, the mood will change then and they'll kind of give up and then they miss the beautiful rise at the end because they're self defeated. But having a tribe around you that are like, Hey, we know exactly what's happening right now. We see you we see you showing up. I love the way you're doing your lives. I love what content you are putting out I love the way you're doing this, like you can do this. We're cheering you on all the way to the end like that. I see people's results. And I go that is because of all of the way like the rising tide raises all ships. And I love to see women doing well. And my ultimate dream with her Empire Builder is by 2025 to have 100 women making a million dollars a year. And this financial year, I think we'll have our first five of those 100 pass that milestone so we've still got a long way to go for me to fulfil my my dream with that. But if you want to go big and and look, there's people in there that don't have the aspiration for a million dollar business, there's people that are like, you know what, half a million a year is perfect for me. And that is fine. But if you want to go big if you want to really make a big impact, and be surrounded by other people that are highly ambitious and driven and that is normal. Come to hermpirebuilder.com We will see you on the inside. What happens once you apply. We have a call together for you and me so I get to talk to you, which is by no means a high. Like it's not like like a traditional sales call. I will not use NLP on you will not, you know do all of the sales tactics. It's really to figure out what your goals are and whether we're a right match. And if not, there's so many I know so many coaches and programmes and I will be able to tell you which one is going to be the right fit. But if you are right for us Damn straight, I will send you that offer and go come on in my friend. So herempirebuilder.com if you want to check that out, but even if that is not on the cards for you, and you don't have the money to invest in your education or that support network yet, find one yourself. Find some people who are going for things and say hey, do you want to catch up every week? Or do you want to catch up once a month? How can we support one another here because it is a game changer. And I want you to know how supported you are. And I want you to be able to have people around you that will challenge you to fulfil all of the dreams that you have inside your heart right now. Go get it.
Thank you for listening to this episode of her Empire Builder, if you loved it, please share it on Instagram and Facebook for your friends. And if you really want to deliver me smile, you can pop a review on iTunes. I'd love to hear from you. So if you have any questions, email me at podcast at Tina tower.com. And if you want to know more about what we do, head over to Tina tower.com. Now I truly hope this podcast gives you so much value and you can use it to dream big, plan well, and take massive action in building your very own Empire. That's perfect. Just for you.