Ep148 Let It Be Easy with Susie Moore 

Today on the Her Empire Builder podcast, I have a very special guest for you! My friend, author and online course creator extraordinaire Susie Moore.

Susie is a former Silicon Valley Sales Director turned Life Coach and Advice Columnist. Her work has been featured on the Today show, Oprah, Business Insider, CNN, Forbes, Time Inc, Marie Claire and she’s the resident Life Coach Columnist for Greatist (yeah, all the cool things!)

In our interview today, I'm asking Susie about why so many of us are addicted to stress, why we want to make everything hard and why we're comfortable in making it hard. We also chat about what Susie's journey has been like with going from a stressful life to actually finding ease and joy, whilst still running a successful multi-million dollar business. 

Susie’s new book, Let It Be Easy is out on 9th November, and is all about how we can get more ease and joy into our lives.

I know you will love this episode, and will find it as thought provoking as I did!

In this episode, you will learn: 

  • How to change your belief systems by adjusting your language
  • Why does everything have to be hard?
  • If you want things to be easy, why not simply allow them to be?
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Show Notes:

Connect with Susie here: www.susie-moore.com 

Follow on instagram: @susie.moore

Follow on facebook: susiemoore.writer 

 

Resources:

Get a copy of Susie's new book coming out 9th November - Let it Be Easy - Click Here!

 

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Show Transcription: 

Tina

Hi friends, Welcome to Episode 148 of the Her Empire Builder Podcast. Today I have a special guest for you, my friend and author and online course creator extraordinary Susie Moore. So Susie's new book, Let It Be Easy is coming out November 9. And I loved her last book, Stop Checking Your Likes, which is how I actually met Susie was I read that and asked her to come and be a guest expert inside of the Her Empire Builder mastermind and she was so so good. And since then we’ve kind of like, had messages back and forth, and going, you know, sharing all things business, which is, you know, one of the, this is a side note, but also one of the main things that I love about having a podcast and having an online business is all of the incredible people you get to meet and connections you get to create and the collaborations and all of that sort of thing. 

Susie's new book, Let It Be Easy, is pretty darn awesome. I was lucky I got a got a copy about a month ago before it had gone to print and read it and was just like, You know what, it's it's a lot of common sense, but common sense is uncommon. And so in our interview today, I'm asking Susie about how so many of us are addicted to stress, why we want to make everything hard or why we're comfortable in making it hard. And also what Susie's kind of journey has been like with going from that stressful life to actually finding the ease and the joy in that and you're here also, forever the coach a couple of times Susie does fall into coaching me and catching out the number of times that I actually say and and you know, the interview is quite quite polarising for me and going well, I do say quite often, you know, we do hard work or we do something that's hard, or this is hard. I use the language quite a lot. And so hopefully from this interview, you can also get a bit of that and pay attention to your own language and how often you're using that terminology, and how we can get more ease and joy into our lives as well. 

So if you don't know Susie, Susie Moore is the author of Let It Be easy her new book and Stop Checking Your Likes. She's a former Silicon Valley executive turn celebrity life coach and advice columnist. Her work has been featured on The Today Show Good Morning America, Dr. Oz, Oprah and Business Insider, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes and Cosmopolitan so you know, all the cool stuff. She's born in England. She lived in Australia for a really long time, which is how we have a few friends in common and currently lives in Miami with her husband Heath and her Yorkshire Terrier Archer terrier.

You can find all about Susie, I’ve put her links in the show notes, but also at susie-moore.com. Alrighty, enjoy this conversation. I hope it is very thought provoking for you. 

Hello, I'm Tina tower, and you're listening to Her Empire Builder. So my first decade of business, I thought grinding and hustling and working harder than everyone else was my path to success. It was pretty successful by a lot of measures, but it led to burnout and adrenal fatigue. Then when I travelled around the world, on my family gap year, I discovered the simplicity and the reach of online business. And I completely fell in love. You have so much knowledge and expertise that's within, and I want to help you to package that. So you can also help to lift others up. So how do you build a thriving million dollar business based on everything that's in your mind? This is Her Empire Builder, the podcast. 

Susie Moore, Welcome to the Her Empire Builder podcast. I am so happy to have you here.

 

Susie

Hi, Tina, you're such a light, I'll take any time that I can spend with you, so thank you so much for having me. I'm really like just so excited for our conversation.

 

Tina

You're amazing. And I was saying before I hit record that you know, I went overboard on the podcast interviews because I knew when my book came out, it was going to be the best way to expand my audience because I didn't have the profile that you have. And I did 63 interviews across two months. The questions all get the same but I'm still going to ask you like a lot of those same questions. Because I want to know like both the basics from the book, the content of the book, and then also your kick ass business journey. Starting with the book first. So the book is out November 9, let it be easy and if people are watching on YouTube, you got this let it be easy sign behind you - always with the branding.

 

Susie

Always! Let it be easy. Let people see the name of your book all the time. Why not? Yeah.

 

Tina

So what was the catalyst for bringing this book to life? Because this is your third book? Second?

 

Susie

Yes. My third. Well, you know, I joke in the ease needs a good lawyer. Because no one is representing it like Tina, when has anyone ever said to you Oh, yeah, that thing that you want? That's really easy. Yeah. People tell you all the time. Running a business is hard. Oh but having an employer is hard. Oh, you know, having kids is hard on not having kids. That's really hard. Marriage is hard. Being single, that's hard. Like, where like, where is the ease? Like, when can we stretch our legs and enjoy our life. And I know this personally. So those of you who maybe read my books or know my work, you know that I grew up with living in domestic abuse shelters on welfare, like chaos, a lot of like, a lot of things happening, right as a kid. And I remember when I was a kid, I think to myself, like I saw my mom struggle, right? It felt very hard for her, I and I thought to myself, you know, it's going to be easy for me, though, because I'm going to grow up, I'm going to get a good job, I'm going to marry someone normal and stable. And I'm going to be able to take care of her and like this hard thing that we're experiencing. It's only temporary, right? 

 

And then so I've managed, worked hard got a career in the US, I was in the Silicon Valley tech world, earning half a million dollars at the age of 30. Married to a very nice man. But Tina, it still wasn't easy. There was a whole host of other hard things in my life. And I then just started thinking to myself, like, when is the good part? Like, when do I get to really kick back, stretch my legs, and enjoy like, and really be like, present and enjoy my life? 

 

Tina

 

And for most people, that's never.

 

Susie

 

Why didn't I let myself be happier? What like, oh, actually, it was the entire period, I could have let myself be happier. But I become obsessed with ease. And I've learned that it's a skill like any other. And so I'm obsessed with talking about it, and normalising it and, and like really making it something that we think about versus just something that's like impossible and nice for a few people who have loads of blessing.

 

Tina

 

I actually have on my wall just above me, what if it was easy? So like this similar sort of thing in going and one of that I wanted to ask you was do you think ease and having that easy sort of thing is, is an attitude and a perception of the situation? Or like the practicality of it? Because I know that the reason I ask that is I was having a conversation even yesterday with someone in going, they wanted to give up on their business, they've done a couple of launches, and they hadn't gone very well. And they're like, You know what, it's just so hard. And a part of me was like, why I think so many people give up in that first year, because of the expectation that it is going to be really easy. And you're gonna have a seven figure business overnight, and it's just all gonna happen in ease. And so I wanted to ask you that question, because I knew we were interviewing today. And I thought of you at the time when I said, Of course, it's hard. But I also think that yes, it's hard. But you can still perceive that as, like, of course, it's hard, which actually makes it easy.

 

Susie

 

It makes total sense. Here's the kicker, right? Having a million dollar business in your first year is possible. It's maybe not like likely, right? Because there is a learning curve. And some things just do take time. But the ease kicks in when you stop thinking that that's exactly the result that you need to be successful. Yeah, right. So it's like you can be very successful, like in your first year without hitting any type of financial benchmark. But if you're thinking this benchmark has to be hit, in order for me to be good enough, and for me to continue, then that's you making your life really hard, right? And that's when that belief and I have to x before I can, like celebrate myself or, you know, congratulate myself or even just go a little easier on myself at the most bare basic level. 

Like it's the What am i Believing about this? And is that belief? True? Yes. 

 

Tina

 

And I think that's what it is for me. And that's what I was thinking the whole way through your book is going because I know personally i i deal with a lot of things in in life and business, but I never really make you know two different situations can happen to the same people. And you use this example in the book too, is someone can have the exact same situation, but the experience of that situation and what we take from that is so different depending on our attitude, and it makes such a difference to our level of joy.

 

Susie

 

So think about it. So two people starting a business right? So you make $40,000 in your first year, just say that right? For one person, they'd be like, hey, look, they didn't pay as much as my salary. Right? But wow, like this is a full time income. And look, I'm adjusting. I'm learning I'm already in like this five figure range. I'm just getting thing started like, whoa, whoa, like this is delicious. Like, I'm just in the appetiser stage and someone else would be like, This is too hard, I'm working harder on, I used to work in my job, I suck, I suck, I suck, I suck everyone else and then name 10 People who you look up to in the business world, they're so much better than me, I'll never be them. I suck. Like, what are you believing about your result? And why not just look at it with the truth? Do you suck if it was someone else? Like if you were observing someone else who's learning something brand new? Like Tina, if ever, if it was like, so simple to make millions of dollars every year, wouldn't we all be doing that? Like they want? It takes some learning, like it takes some time, you have to become a different person, which takes some time. So why can't that be? Okay? Like, why can't that be? Like it? Maybe it's not ideal? And yes, there is like a feeling of I want to do more and create more. But why overall can’t it still be okay? And like, Yes, I'm learning. I'm getting that I'm on my path.

 

Tina

 

Yeah. And so with that beginning journey. Like to make it in success. You know, you've got you've got to do exceptional measures of focus, strategic hard work both on yourself personally, and tangibly as well. How do you interpret that in terms of you know, it's not a lifestyle business. We're not I think sometimes people interpret easy as you know, we're going to be you're in Miami, like sitting on the beach drinking cocktails all day and the millions roll in. And that’s why ease gets a bad rap sometimes is because ease isn't, to me easy isn't doing that he is looking at it and letting it flow and letting it come easy. But how do you interpret it in terms of having to get in and like do the necessary strategic hard work? But in the in, in a more easy, flowy? Way?

 

Susie

 

Yes. I feel like I don't even say hard work. Like I just say work, right? Because like, of course, there's work involved, like, of course, and that sense of the pleasure of it, right? Like the pleasure and the we were lying to ourselves. If we think in our happiest moments, it's not when we're working on something that we love, right? If I'm working on an article and I'm like, Oh, wait, no, that's not the exact word that I want. And I really want to get this point. And I'm like, I've got like, a pencil in my mouth. And I'm like, that's what I'm just happy. Right? Is that hard work? Like, I don't know. I mean, it's work. Certainly. I mean, there's an outcome that was a blank page. Now there's 750 words, and a link to my products and a fee. Like, that's lovely. Right? Like, that's how it's meant to be. So the way that I think about it is, there's real stress right? In life, right? There's real stress when we have to take immediate action, there is adrenaline in our body, like there, there is real stress, right? But there's also so much imagined stress that we love to, like, just pile on lavishly to everything. And it's like, what am I believing about this situation, this outcome, this task, whatever it is, that's, you know, causing the stress like, what am i Believing here that might actually not stand up in court, like as a truth? If I were to really look at it, because we're living in suffering as if it's all the imagined stress is true. I love what Mark Twain said he put it best. Like as my introduction, I'm like, he says, I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

 

Tina

 

I circled that. Because, and you said it early, I can't remember. It was like in the first 10 sort of bits that you talked about the addiction to stress. And I read about that bit and went, Ooh Yeah, because I know a big part for me in my journey, I sold my last company when I was in 2016. And that was very high stress. I had adrenal fatigue by the time I finished it was very demanding and I sold it because I was like, this is not the life for me. This is not what I imagined I wanted more ease. I wanted more joy and and I got to there. But then, interestingly, I started this new business and started feeling that coming back in and so I've paid a lot of attention to the addiction to stress and going I am very comfortable in that struggle in that fight in that pressure. And one of the what was so excited when I saw your book is this one of the biggest things I've worked on over the last two years is going to chill the fuck out man. Like yes. Not everything has to be crazy.

 

Susie

 

This is where the challenge is, right? Because we expect like we have these very strange expectations, right? We think we expect people shouldn't criticise us, right. People shouldn't refund right. People shouldn't get into little Facebook groups and talk about how much they hate us. Right like people no one saying that about us. Say there's a Facebook group that hates us so much, and they rant rant rant about how much they hate us. Right? So that happens. Is that the problem? Or is the problem that we think that that shouldn't happen? Like, the resistance to what is happening? Is, is where all the stress comes in. Like, if I see anything in look, you will be criticised. If you're willing to create anything. Yeah. Especially like you will like, like, don't even don't even bother trying to prevent it. Like just like, Okay, it's part of the ride, there’s a shadow side to everything. So if I think she, what did she say, Oh, I'm going to set her straight like that. All the stress I'm experiencing is someone shouldn't do that. Like, what if she should do that? Like, I've accepted that fully. So the stress the I could experience it? I'm not available. Like it's, it's just, you can't get your claws in me that way. 

 

Tina 

 

When I got my first one star review on the podcast, because I was like, oh, it's people now outside of my, like core group.

 

Susie

 

Oh, yes, I have this horrible review for my last book, bad language. horrible, terrible example. For teenagers. I'm like, good, like, good. And that's true for hmm, and that's allowed, you know, so I get to say my bit, someone else gets to say that but like, the stress isn't, I need to take this down I need to do it's like, what if that's okay, like, what if these things that we'll do will happen, right? Truly, like, it's not like armour up, they're going to happen. It's like, lovingly, like, these things are going to happen like at peace. And then a lot of the stress just dissolves on its own when you question like, What is the truth here? 

 

Tina

 

So you had like you were living in that high stress sort of environment with you your bigger salary and your beautiful life to go with it with all those because that that life is like a package like it's a lot of other complications come along with that. How did your relationship with that go in terms of going account living in this high stress environment, I'm thinking all these things. How did you then become the most? You know, beautiful sunshine wholesome life coach writer extraordinaire now?

 

Susie

 

Well, Tina, I think, in my opinion, the only self help that's worth its weight in salt, right? Like the ohm and self help is my life, right? The only self help that really exists is like when we stop lying to ourselves. It's like when we just tell the truth. I remember with my with my job that look, yeah, I had a lot of perks right. And I'm very appreciative. I always will be a set me up in a lot of ways. But I was always worried like, is my boss happy? Am I going to lose this account? Is this client going to pull their campaign? Like, what if my tech team can't deliver on this product feature, did it? Like, no wonder I'm drinking so much. Like No wonder I'm like, and on Sunday night, I get that sick feeling. You know that? Ah, what can go wrong this week, and nothing had gone wrong yet. Like nothing. And this is sometimes why even peak moments can bring fear, right? Because you're like, it's so good. What's going to happen? I mean, it. This is funny, right? I was listening to Christian Ronaldo. I don't know anything about sport. But I know he's the best footballer or soccer player in the world, right? And he said this, he said, when you're starting out, no one respects you because you're brand new. When you're in the middle, everyone ignores you. Because you're like everyone else in the middle. When you're at the top. Everyone like has an opinion about you? Right? Like people kind of come off to you. And he's like, when you're at the top top. You're terrified of losing it. So I'm like, Huh? Like Like where is the good part? The beginnings not the middle the top the very short.

 

Isn't that the madness? And people will tell you right Your mother told newborns you'll never sleep toddlers. Oh, they'll kill you teenagers that what? Like when can you enjoy your kids?

Yes. I want to ask you a question on this because I've got this later. And it's fits in perfectly there with with the like, my note is I feel bad projecting the easy. For regular listeners of the podcast, and for people that follow me on instagram know that in the last couple of weeks, my son was experimenting in the backyard creating a backyard flame thrower and blew himself up. And so he's got third degree burns to 20% of his body and is recovering at the moment. But, I’ve always had a very easy journey with my kids. And you know, when they were babies, they were such good babies and everyone exactly as you said, we're going to do Wait until they're toddlers, they're terrible when they're toddlers. And then I would have toddlers, and they would sleep, they were wonderful. And they're like, wait until they're teenagers. And yes, granted, my son just ended himself in hospital. But like, he made a bad decision. He's not a bad kid, and he will be totally fine. So we're very lucky. But I know even in life, and in so people will say to me, don't believe, you know, you hear it all the time. Don't believe social media, because it's just the highlight reel of someone's life. And you can't compare yourself to that. I never share on social media, how good my life is, my life is like, 10 times better than social media, because I always feel like people will hate me for it being so good, because the hard is glorified. The easy is not. And people like, Oh, look how good it is for her. How do you deal with that? 

 

Susie

 

I'm so happy you're sharing this because this is very common, right? Like, you're not the only one who's like, oh, I can't share, like, maybe I bought this new thing. Or like, maybe I don't want that many hours in a day. Right? Or, like, whatever. Like, maybe your team is just seamless. And like they're so loyal. And like everyone's complaining about, you know, the people that they that they work with, you know, etc. So it's interesting, right? Like, it's interesting. So my question to you would be like, What do you but like, so if you present but if you present just the truth, right? So you're not lying? What is it you believe will happen that people will what? 

 

Tina

 

They will hate me for it. Be like, oh, you know, the rocks will start throwing at my mouth.

Come out. Yeah, the pitchforks. Okay, so people, people would like you and they'll attack you.

 

 

 

 

Susie

 

I would ask you this right. If you if you are observing, who sent like someone that you love, I feel like I love I don't know, Lady Gaga or something like that. Right? Whoever and they're sharing she shown on this is my

 

Tina

 

Delta is my person. Delta. Really? Uh, you know,

 

Susie

 

But just say she's like, this is my gorgeous man. This is my gorgeous jet. This is my gorgeous baby. This is my, like, my new bedding. Like, how do you feel if you just see her just show the truth of her life?

 

Tina

 

Yes. Love her. But interestingly, she is hated by a whole cross section of the country because and this is the thing the media says she's too nice and too happy and too positive. And that can't be real. See, this is what we deal with from the media. And I go, I see that. And it's just reinforced my whole opinion.

 

Susie

 

And so I would say I'm looking at Delta looking at you looking at really anybody? Yeah, we kind of also pay attention to what we're believing. Right? So if you think people won't like you, if you shave your life, like the good things about your life, that's what you're kind of tuned into noticing. Right? I can tell you that when someone posts something or share something that's aspirational for me, for me, it's inspiring for someone else's intimidating. Yeah, right. And I can tell you like Tina, there would be people who'd see like, the blessings that you've been given and what you've created, what you've allowed in what you haven't resisted, and that will be like the push to then follow you to then do it. Like success is generous, because you're showing look, look what's available. You're You're here on Earth, like everybody else. Yeah, right. You've got a body but a voice. You've got your brain just like the rest of us, right? And so look what like look what's happened to you? Like, there's no one who is exceptional, right? There's not like it's okay for this one person and then that one guy over there. We are were born into this world, we all have different unique gifts. And what we do with that is inspirational, like if we, if we get blessings, if we kind of get to be doing have many things. And there's proof of that. And that's just proof of what's possible for human beings. Yes. I love that as a whole as a success is generous in this way. And there will always be those people even if you said like, I'm having a miserable day and I'm so I'm just everything is terrible. Maybe people will be like, Oh, she's so negative look, look at her, she should be great. She should be grateful. But you know, so that there's one or two and then when like it really is a good question how many like how many people won't like it. 

 

Tina

 

Have you seen Leonie Dawson in online course creation? I don't think so. She's one of my most intriguing people, because she's so incredibly different to anybody else that I have met. But she shares this epic. She has like this end of month email where she puts in everything that she did in the month, what worked, what didn't and also puts like her Kajabi dashboard screenshots and says, I made this much from this course I made this much from this course, like radical transparency. And I always say heard, I was talking to her about it. She's like, Honey, like, it's inspiring to share it with your audience. I'm like, I'm not Yeah. And so this is a really, like, this is a really interesting thing. And she said the same to me, like, what are you afraid of? Is it the judgement of other people that you're doing well, I'm like, I'm like, I'm actually afraid someone's gonna find out where I live income roaming. 

 

Susie

I'm guessing this this lady that you mentioned, she's doing quite well, right. She's sharing and maybe there's a dip or whatever, but she's still sharing it. It's like, all those people who don't believe you can make money online, right? Think about all those people who are like, well, you have to be you know, in in a specific city, and you need to know this person. It's like, what did this woman who's just who's doing well, and sharing it? It's like, Wow, it's so generous to do that. Y

 

Tina

 

Well, this segues perfectly into this, because in number nine was one of my favourite points. And in that you quote, someone that says, when you know, better, you do better. And I really liked that. Because I think sometimes we get tied to, you know, the belief that you've just challenged me on which I love to go, Well, I can, I can know better. And I can do better with that. And I think sometimes, like, at the very beginning, you were saying some people can live their whole life in resisting to that joy and resisting to that ease. But it is hard for a lot of people to change. How do we take that and go, Okay, we now we know, we can only know what we know, now. And if we do know better and change, how can people implement that change when it is seemingly so hard? And you know, we know we can just change in an instant, if we want to, but there's some people that have been, you know, holding on to these beliefs for such a long time.

 

Susie

 

One thing that I love to teach is desire hacking, right? So what that means is if there's something that you really love, like in your life, that it's not healthy for you, I can I have a method where you actually no longer desire the thing. Right. So and the way that you could talk about this is, you know, you say you're a nonsmoker, and you're around 20 smokers, and they're all smoking, you won't care. Right? Like, you'll be like, do you think whatever, right? Or if you say you have no interest in gambling, and everyone's going to the casino, like, you don't care, right? Because that's just not your same with alcohol. So like, so many different things. When you think about, like, what is it I'm believing like. This is this actually happened to this year when I when I stopped drinking alcohol for three months. And it was so easy. It was so easy. And it was because I question I'm like, What's alcohol bringing to my life? Not a judgement, just a question. And I'm like, it's fun. It's what everyone does, right? It's fun. It's what everyone does. What was my other reason? It's relaxing, right? So I'm like, is it fun? Or am I fun? Right, like, because even if I was sitting with the most boring person it wouldn't matter how much wine there was. Oh, you just think like that. What am I believing about that? Like, I believe alcohol brings the fun. Let me say I really underestimated myself. Like, you know, secondly, what as I said, it's what everyone does, is it. There are so many non drinkers these days. Like it opened my mind when I realised Oh, actually, drinking is me like I just am, you know, and then the third one is like, it helps me relax, Does it? It keeps you awake. I can act so like what is it? We're believing? So if if somebody says you're changing your beliefs is hard. I don't know. Like, if you look at it, like spotlight, like true Spotlight, the truth cannot like a false belief can not withstand sincere questioning. Like it just collapses. It's like yeah, but yeah, but and you feel like I've been I've had this allegiance to this belief, forever. So there has to be like, I've spent loads of money on this belief. Like, there's so much like, I'm tied to this belief. You really look at it. And this takes some courage, right? You have to want to want to be willing to change something. You wouldn't do this for something that's working really well for you. You know what I mean? But if you want if you're thinking about maybe there's a change, you're like, let's really look at it like let's look at it like what Is it like and like, what is it? I'm believing? Is it really true? And if it's true for me, then it must be true for everybody else. So if you said something like, you know, if you want to make a million dollars a year, you have to work 12 hours a day. Just say that that's a belief that you have, right. And plenty of people do have similarities, right? Like, I can't work that hard. Like, I can't walk that long. I really I just I cannot I'll fall asleep, you know. So you always want look for contrarian evidence. And it's there. It's just we're not tuned into it. Because that's not how our brains work. Our brains are Association machines. So they'll look for evidence of support, I believe, all the time. Yeah. So what do you welcome something else? And again, don't just take my word for it. It's not like you can change your beliefs. It's like, look at it, like, is your belief true? And if it's causing you stress and suffering, it's probably not or not to the extent to issue to which you defend it?

 

Tina

 

I've noticed how many times just even in this conversation, I've said the word heart. Like walking on this. I was thinking, like, yeah, behaviour change is hard. I'm like, Damn Tina. realise how many times I say that. 

 

Susie

 

But I like to think that I live in a pretty easy way. So I've got a lot of work to do with that. And also Tina, like all languages, the language of the people around us, and you're like, if someone's like, life's hard, works hard to do that you're speaking the language of the majority. Right? So this is why it also takes a bit of courage to say, I'm not buying into that, like, I don't know, is that true for me? Let's see.

 

Tina

 

Yeah, and I love in the book, you say, I should have written it down. But it was a line that was around, like, common sense is uncommon. And going through what you were talking about going like a lot of what you're talking about in the book is common sense. Like it's, it's it is something that we should be able to like when we know it, we go, Well, yeah, you know, it's not rocket science. But why is it so uncommon? And why do we forget it, that we can make that decision in an instant that we can change in an instant that we can just change our whole perspective on something? Why is that so uncommon?

 

Susie

 

It's really not our fault to a point, you know, because we've really, there's this doctrine, right? There's this like doctrine that you know, Everything good requires suffering, right? My best opportunities have come to me. Yes. Like they have. I've done work in other areas, right? Not hard work, right. But I do my thing I show up, I'm faithful. I'm obedient. Like I follow through, I'm reliable, like, I create, right? Even when it's scary, I do my thing. And then I expected things to happen. Like I expected, that's also quite a rare thing to expect good things, you know, but why? Because we were told, like, oh, go work really hard for that. Oh, yeah, that happens after a certain period, or that you have to be like this for that to happen to you, right? We just be absorbed so much. But an example I loved I gave in the book just for fun, right? But it's also funny because it's true. It's like when you were a kid, and someone's like, hey, Santa isn't real, right? You don't need like six months of deprogramming the belief that like Santa is like where I need to sit with that. Let me question that. Like, get my head like, it's like, Oh, something that I was so in love with? And like certain of just, you know, poof, like, what what if that were true of so many beliefs, like it takes a bit of time, right to turn like dogma on its head. But once you kind of go, I don't know, I'm gonna buy into that stress. Or everyone's freaking out about that. I'm not I'm not doing that. Like, I'm not playing that game. It's kind of funny how quickly just like, the transformation doesn't have to be this long, deep experience. It's just I thought something was true. It's not Yeah. It's like, oh, it's a you know, being on television. Like, that's such a big scary thing. You have to get the perfect outfit. can't mess up a word. Live TV like it's really risky, is it? I mean, who even watches morning TV? I remember before my first TV show appearance, I was really nervous. And I remember I spoke to two friends of mine. Yeah, I'm almost like oh my god, like how many millions of people watch that show? Like how many millions and I'm like, Oh man. They they made a mistake calling me like oh, like I would if I mess up like I have to be so prepared and perfect. Like how to like not a comment out of like place in my speech right? And then another friend she was like, oh, yeah, like I've been on the Today show a few times. Like this fitness thing was on my boss did. She's like there's really great tacos actually like around, and I'm like, I'm not thinking about the tacos. Need to, like get through this alive, you know? And she's like, Yeah, yeah, it's just uh, and I'm like, huh, it's the same thing, a television segment seven minutes or whatever it is live right national. So like, you can freak out free care freak out how many millions don't ask those people. Ask the person who's like thinking about what I should eat, like afterwards and I shouldn't miss out on this taco stand, you know?

 

Tina

 

Yeah, that's like the weirdest experience though. Like when you're in there, and then you're done. And they're like, let you out a side door. And they're like, see you later. And you're in the car? What?

 

Susie

 

What just happened? Did you have heard that? Have you enjoyed it? And then yeah, and it's like, Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Yeah. Like, what is your relationship to the thing? 

 

Tina

 

Yeah, the biggest lesson in beliefs that I got, because we couple of years ago before COVID, thank goodness travelled around the world for that for a year. And going to we went to 28 countries. So we did fast travel and kind of explored a lot of different cultures and a lot of things. And for me, it was so incredible how so many cultures have these, like hard core beliefs that are so true to them? And where as you know, Australians going What? No, no, no, no. But for them, they're looking at us going what? No, no, no, no, no. And things were so different. But so true for them in different places. And we had such great conversations with the kids about beliefs and going, beliefs become real when you have them for long enough and you don't question them. And so yeah, it is it is everywhere. But I want to ask you about because you know, this is a podcast, for course creators as well. And you are a kick ass course creator woman. Can you touch on how you manage to, because you came into this world as a life coach, which is hugely competitive. There are a lot of life coaches. How did you get your business off the ground and to where it is now in this amazing situation?

 

Susie

 

Hmm. So first of all, I never thought it was competitive. I know that there are many coaches just like in any field, but other other coaches, I find. I really like them. And I like I I've also cultivated friends who other coaches and even collaborate.

 

Tina

 

It's my favourite thing about the online industry. Yeah, yeah. And do my previous industry that I was in. But with this one, it's like, so many people collaborating in each other's programmes and conferences, like it's it is it's beautiful.

 

Susie

 

It's I mean, and I also thought to, it's great that there are other coaches, because I will learn from them, they've kind of done a lot of trailblazing for me. They've educated the market on what a life coach is. So I have to explain what that is. Sometimes I still have to actually, but very rarely does that really come up. And then also, I feel like they helped me like I if I have a question I would have someone to ask. So I thought that there being a lot of coaches, it was a real advantage. Yeah, like, I'm not doing something cold, like family, like a Steve Jobs, like doing something, you know, has never been done. And like I'm entering a field that's really successful. So that's a good sign. And like, Thank God for all these fellow coaches before me because my job is going to be easier now. Right? So yes, I started like doing one on one coaching. And because I've been obsessed with ease, I was like, How can I like explode this so I can leave my very nice paying job. I'm gonna need a lot of people. I can't just be like a trickle of new clients. And I don't want to rely on referrals. And I'm not going to networking events. Like, so I was like, quite rigid about those things. And I, we didn't want afternoon I was in my cubicle reading. At the time, it was Mind Body Green. I still love Mind Body Green. And I was like, what if I was like, just kind of advice is stuff that I could give. And I'm like, what if I just submit, you know something and see what happens, you know. And then I say a friend of mine was late to meet me for drinks in the meatpacking district in New York. And so I had like 30 minutes, and I just wrote a piece and I submitted it. And then two weeks later, it was live in MindBodyGreen. My first author page, my first media feature, I posted it everywhere. Everyone took me seriously after that. And I was like brand brand new didn't have a website, you have a Facebook business page and nothing. And the very first piece had nearly 4000 shares. So you know that what that means for the views, right? Like that's representative of like, a lot more views. And I was like, This is it. This is how I'm going to grow my business. Like it's free. It's credibility building. I didn't even realise the many other gifts that would come as a result of having the courage to just like, put my hat in the ring or something like that. And so now I've been teaching that too, because it does come naturally to me, like just kind of creating ideas, making connections. And it's such a like, it's such a wonderful skill. So having the ability to like to know what works to reach larger audiences to create great content. Just to remember, like, it's such a blessing like the I call it the get to do list, right, like the things that I get. I get to have conversations about my favourite topic like with you right now, is this working? Yeah, I mean, I guess it's working. If you look to my calendar, as you know, work I've got to be here a certain time to, but I don't know, I mean, this is thrilling, this would be as fun as you know, us having wine talking about men. I'm appreciative of everything. I, if I see an opportunity, I will seize it unapologetically. And I also believe that if I can serve a few people with something, then that could potentially be millions. So just like set your sights for like, bigger, bigger, bigger service, and then good things happen.

 

Tina

 

I love that so much. So on the horizon for you when you are your planner for the future, or do you like wing it and see what the world's gonna bring you? How do you

look at it? 

 

Susie

 

Yeah, I'm more of a winger. Yeah. But I love that. I also feel like it leaves space. Like it leaves space for like, some spontaneity and creativity. And I think like, you know, life, there are so many disruptions that happen in a good way. Like good and bad. But now I'm not a planner, you strike me as a planet team.

 

Tina

 

Do you know I just Jill Stanton, I just did a coaching sprint with her for 12 weeks. And she was laughing her ass off at me, Susie, because I am the person that has like the the five year plan, the three year plan, the one year plans broken into 90 Day quarterly action steps broken into weekly things like like I yeah, I've got everywhere. And she's like, how do you even if you're planting all the things you are, you're missing out on so many opportunities by just looking at your plan, and not just seeing where the world's gonna take you. And so next year is actually my experiment in going if it's not fun, I'm not doing it. I'm going I miss travel so much for the last couple of years that I'm going everywhere. I'll be in Miami in March, we'll get up for that. I'm doing all of these these different things and trying to just see where the wind takes me, which is a very different, very different scary thing for me, because I get safety from the system.

 

Susie

 

Do you? Perceived safety? Right. Like you get a feeling of it. Yeah. So what are you know, there could be like, who knows? What could shift in the market? Who knows? Like, what else could just come your way? Who knows? Like, there might be a massive collaboration, opportunity. Like you just, it can flip everything. You know, there has to be a bit of room for the magic.

 

Tina

 

Yes. And this is what I'm learning. This is what this question is about you. Oh my god. You can always tell when you interview coaching, you’re like hang on a minute stop coaching me! 

 

Susie

 

I'm not really a plan. I mean, I know I know what I know, like the next couple of months on my promotions are in if there's something that I've committed to you, and I know if I like a book release, but have you got like a dream that you're going for? I feel like I'm living it. You know. I feel like I'm really in my dream. It's kind of like that old expression. It's like about the fish. You know that one? Yeah. How does it go again? It's like, yeah, like a fish these other fish. It's like I'm looking for the ocean, you know? There's a young fish and he asked an older fish like I'm looking for the ocean. And the the older fish says you're in the ocean and he's like, no, no, this is water and looking for the ocean. I think that's how we can live our lives a lot. And it's a tragedy like I dreamed of like walking for myself and you know, going to Pilates on a Tuesday at 10 o'clock. And you know, and kind of going away like we're going away tomorrow just because I felt like it you know, and having feeling supported and being able to write books and like seriously sometimes I feel like it can all be real like but it doesn't mean that I'm at work because I do right but I'm really enjoying myself I'm doing what feels like like I said this conversation I two other like this today I've got two great media pieces for two massive magazines here in the US about ease, but I began to write like I used to read these pieces from other people and I'd be like wow, how did they do that? Like how do they get to like be in magazines with this amazing advice? There's always more revenue always. I mean, that's the purpose, right expansion and that's fun. And that's also when you're on the right track because people are connecting with What you're doing more and more people want in. 

 

Tina

 

So I feel like that's my final question for you is, so I'm always talking about expansion as well and going for that. And sometimes people will say to me like, but we just want to be content with what we have now. And I do find it difficult to explain that yes, you can actually be perfectly content and happy and joyful with where you are, but still be thriving for expansion. But what's your take on that?

 

Susie

 

Happy where you are eager for more. I feel very blessed. And I appreciate my life. I enjoy it. I like I really do enjoy myself. It's almost like it offensive to some people. I take myself out to lunch, or write myself a card saying how much I appreciate myself. I kiss myself in the mirror. I allow myself I mean, every now and then. If I fail at something, I don't judge myself. Like, I won't do that. I'll go look good. I did my best in that moment. Is that true? Yes. Okay, that's enough. So I can do you know, but certainly very like content, but no, very hungry and very eager. And they can completely coexist, that the same thing, right. But the same thing, because the joys and attractor right? And like the joy that you feel means you're present and then that presence is a magnetizer for so much more. So I think that they're not contradictory whatsoever. They're completely aligned, happy where you are eager for more.

 

I love that perfect note to finish on. Thank you so much for your time and your wisdom and everyone let it be easy is out November 9, you can order it globally. Thank you so much, Susie,

you're amazing. 

 

Susie

 

Thank you, Tina, I love you.

 

Tina

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of her Empire Builder. If you loved it, please share it on Instagram and Facebook for your friends. And if you really want to deliver me smile, you can pop a review on iTunes. I'd love to hear from you. So if you have any questions, email me at [email protected] And if you want to know more about what we do, head over to tinatower.com Now I truly hope this podcast gives you so much value and you can use it to dream big, plan well and take massive action in building your very own empire. That's perfect. Just for you.

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