Ep146 Creating and Respecting Your Own BoundariesOct 05, 2021
You have so many people relying on you. Your future self, your family, your team - you're pulled in a million different directions trying to exceed everyone's expectations... but the person who is most important to look after is obviously you. Without taking care of yourself, you have nothing to give all those who are relying on you. Then, why is it so hard?
As women, we are notorious people pleasers. We are constantly saying yes to people to make their lives easier. Our family, our friends, our colleagues, our clients, you name it! But, over time, this is at the absolutely detriment to ourselves and the people in our lives as we simply run out of steam and aren't good to anyone.
I’m realising I need to start saying no to more things in order to keep growing my business as I am just completely out of time. This has been incredibly hard for me as I find saying no extremely difficult. How do you start saying no and letting go of things without feeling guilty like you’re leaving people behind? I’ve always been prone to saying yes for other people and I’ve realised that it’s the very thing that will stop me from being able to serve and help people.
There is no black and white for creating your boundaries, and what I mean by this, is it completely depends on what you consider to be ok and what is not ok. I’m always stuck in the grey because I don’t want to come off like an arsehole. I don’t want people to think I’m not available to them. But there’s only so much of me to go around and it’s an issue that every single woman I know experiences.
Focus on what gives you energy and not depletes it. It's hard and I struggle massively with this! I still do now. It comes up fro me at least once a week but you can't be all things to all people. You have to define where your boundaries are and then be disciplined enough to respect them yourself so that others can also respect them. This isn't just done once, it's ever evolving as your business grows and you need to say no to more front facing things so that you have the time and energy for what's most important - your paying customers. You need to maintain your own energy so that you can give the best to them. Feel into it and know that it's a constant work in progress. You know who you are and what your intentions are, just do the best you can that aligns with your values and let go of the expectations of others.
For me, it's saying no to the DM's on Social Media that are asking for entire business strategy advice. I no longer feel guilty for saying no, because it's not fair to my paying customers who are paying for my time. It's saying no to opportunities that no longer serve me and will no longer help my business grow. It's about saving time and energy for the big opportunities that will come along and propel us into another level. It's about spending time alone, with my own thoughts to create more incredible things for this world.
That's not being selfish. That's called boundaries.
So tell me, what boundaries do you have in place, and are you sticking to them?
Listen more on my podcast: tinatower.com/146
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